God, this is a cultivar

Souls in heaven but what about the soil?

God, I know I’ll meet good souls in heaven but what about the soil? Let’s talk about this and what it means to me your faithful garden servant here on earth.

Did you know we talk about worm castings here on earth? One of the ugliest most unappreciated creatures on the planet and we go ape over its excretions. I bet that humors you to no end—–well maybe you are infinite— so it still keeps you knee slapping.

And we appreciate cultivars—- and that all knowledge comes from above–cause then we don’t have to use as many pesticides–they are strong–since they are super plants and all. But when we get to heaven–could you have waiting for us, all those species we killed off while in our care? We won’t need the cultivars then….but don’t take them away yet–we still need them.

God you promised me a mansion but there was no mention of good soil–just good souls. I won’t have to amend the soil will I? I’m pretty tired of amending my soul and this soil. Both are exhausting. I want heaven to have perfect soil and I want to plant up all sorts of combinations. I want there to be endless combinations. Can I bee ( meant to be play on words ) the head garden keeper? Has anyone ask you that? Adam was assigned but he flubbed it.

Do you like my garden blog God? If so….could you multiply my efforts and send so many people here to applaud my efforts. Just because you created me to post all these photos and talk about plants endlessly and it seems fitting they would want to see what you’ve done with my life?..ok? and I want a fiat…and an old old old truck.

God? are you there? I see you in my garden. I see you in every intricate detail of the plants. I see you in the order of life. I see you up close and personal…but do you see my blog? If you do….let me know that there is good soil in heaven.

I love you God.

yellow fiat bees jpeg

I think a Fiat would make me feel better…so Fiat, make my day!

I think a Fiat would make me feel better… so Fiat, make my day! I’m going through a bit of a challenge right now and at the moment during my painful delirious moment all I can think about is owning a fiat decorated like the two above. You see, I’ve got Ramsay Hunt Syndrome which a lot of my readers don’t know and today the news got worse. Because of my weakened immune system, I’ve been diagnosed with Polymyalgia Rheumatica and I can barely type this. Next week I go for a biopsy of a nerve in my face. All of this in hopes that super steroids will ease the pain in my joints and stop the prognosis of going blind.

Oh, that sounds so horrible right? I got Ramsay Hunt Syndrome because the chicken pox virus hid in my face nerves and reared its ugly head about 6 weeks ago. An awful pain in the ear and then total paralysis on the right side of my face. Driving a Fiat 500 has the power to make that seem trivial. Today the paralysis is 80% improved but I still have post herpatic neuralgia which means the ear and jaw pain stuck around. The doctor said that only a Fiat 500 would make a difference.

Since all this pain was sticking around and my joints felt like they were on fire every time I moved—I went back to the neurologist–who asked me if I had a Fiat 500 yet. I said no–so he said–well let’s do more test and they came back that I have major body inflammation. I have twice the normal readings for that sort of thing. Super steroids and more pain killers were prescribed. The doctor is certain I have Polymyalgia Rheumatica. It will take me up to two years to recover all the while taking all those steroids. I need to do low intensity exercise which I assume to mean driving a Fiat 500 to the YMCA to go swimming and such easy stuff.

I am a hugely talented garden artist and have been turning down lots of jobs due to my illness. I do not want to quit designing and have kept two very important clients. If I can get to feeling better, I’ll rebuild my business but in a totally different way. I’m going to put in a killer kitchen garden in my backyard. Think garden design beyond your wildest imagination. It will have a screen door, ornamentals and edibles, places to sit, shed of my dreams, fence that will stop traffic with its beauty, and paths all over. I will give tours and have educational type things. Fiat….are you up for the challenge? Sponsor my dreams? Pretty please.

Now I can pretty much deal with all this pain and suffering. I can deal with the couple of years I’m going to need steroids and pain killers. I can deal with the fact that I won’t be gardening as much. But I can’t deal with the fact that I don’t own a Fiat 500.

If I owned a Fiat 500, it would encourage me to go to the YMCA and swim and workout enough so that when I do get stronger—I can garden again–and haul my flowers around in the coolest car on the planet.

And you Fiat? What say you?