Category Archives: Something About Me You Didn’t Know

Pomegranite Bug
Dec 1 2012

Sign reads, In need of seeing eye dog who can dig holes too.

flower vase arrangement for dining table hydrangeas

The sign reads, in need of seeing eye dog who can dig holes too and maybe even focus a camera. I am going to need a serious helper dog for the next stage of my life. I’m going to wish for a Labradoodle which is what I wanted all along. It just hasn’t been in the budget but I’m thinking I need to move that up to the top of the list and start training it/her/him asap.

Now don’t be alarmed because preparation is the author of success but I did not receive good news today from my eye dr. No sir…seems I’m going to be in need of a good dog who can be in the garden with me and guide me around too. Since coming down with Ramsay Hunt Syndrome, the steroid treatment is not working on the damage to my eyes. I could be blind in my right eye anytime between now and a year from now with the other eye following suit in the next 5 years or sooner. So what does one do when they have a year to prepare for eye sight loss?

They start prioritizing of course. I’m a planner. I have done my share of crying and will do more. It’s a grieving process. I’m on loads of meds to fight it every step of the way and many prayers are going up in hopes this is put off as long as possible but realistically it is looking like months and not years.

I have a very strong faith that God allows things for His glory. It’s not for me to question or understand but it is for me to show how great God is in the process. I happen to think God likes Labradoodles so am aiming toward that goal. haha! God made me—He has humor.

I will teach the dog to help me garden and I have no clue right now how but I will sure write about how funny it’s going to be doing ever step of it. How fun that will be.

So having the dog out of the way….I want to make a bucket list of things I need to file in my photographic memory to call upon when my sight fails.

1. My husband…I’m going to stare at him for endless hours doing everything from eating to how he darts his eyes at me lovingly.

2. study every feature of my children and their precious ladies. They will be forever frozen in my mind around the age of 30ish as they all are in the prime of their lives with zeal to work hard and how precious they move though life. Their homes and my grand pets. I will study this is great detail and write down things you don’t usually notice so that they can read it back to me should I forget.

3. I will go through every photo especially of the baby pictures and file them away in the tender parts of my brain reserved for the baby powder smells and blankie moments.

4. I will start making my home predictable with things always in the same place…familiar. I will plan recipes that can be fixed easily by me and take the burden off Gary. I will have grovery lists done for whole months so that he doesn’t have to think about what is needed. I will be strong and able to contribute to our family just as I always have.

5. I will teach my two daughter in laws to can so we can continue to garden together. I will get my pantries in order.

6. I will teach the whole family that we will be ok and that we will get through this. I will get a computer that lets me continue to tell my story and tell you how I am getting along.

There are things I need to complete my journey this year before I lose my sight:
1. I need a labradoodle.
2. I need a fence around my house and I have a big yard.
3. I need a lot of good garden soil.
4. I need my back porch closed in with a/c and heat.
5. I need part of my back porch closed in for a greenhouse type area.
6. I need a new roof for Copper Top Cottage and a it needs a new front door and patio.

So there is much to be done. Only God knows if it will all be accomplished but I will concentrate on the most important ones. I hope that while my dog can still drive that Volkswagon will give me a little car to drive around while we can still see. Me and the doodle want to pick up plants to decorate the doodle yard.
Pomegranite Bug

About these ads
petunia container arrangement
Nov 29 2012

Gardening with Ramsay Hunt Syndrome and coping with the madness

I am learning to garden with Ramsay Hunt Syndrome and coping with the madness of this affliction. I use to think nothing of gardening all day long happily hauling 50lb bags of soil or manure. I use only the best ingredients. Up until 4 months ago, I had 4 major clients that I loved doing their displays and home arrangements. I can no longer work for more than 15 minutes at the time. In fact, my brain is sick from this affliction and completing a thought can be impossible. I have cried a bucket of tears over this mess. I love to write….write about all sorts of things…..and now it’s very hard. My arms don’t want to cooperate and neither does my brain. Why? what happened?

If you had chicken pox as a kid then the virus lays dormant in your system until a particular stress causes it to reactivate when you are around 50ish. That’s when your resistance runs out from when you first had it. Getting the booster at 50 will lessen your second bout of this virus but I did not get the booster cause no one told me to.

Along came a real stressful time in my life 4 months ago and the chicken pox virus reactivated in the nerves of my face. If the virus activates in other parts of your body it’s called shingles but when it activates in the nerves of your face it’s called Ramsay Hunt Syndrome…RHS. RHS is extremely painful causing deep ear and jaw pain. It can cause sores around and in the ear or inside the mouth. I had sores in the mouth. The sores ran along the chew line and on the right side.

On August 8th, the worst pain you can imagine began way deep in my ear and jaw followed by total face paralysis on the right side. The full paralysis lasted two months. I was shopping and felt my tongue go numb and went straight to my dr. She said my blood pressure was sky high and sent me to the emergency room where they ran bloodwork, cat scan, and mri. Everything came out ok except I told the dr my face felt numb. He said I was just anxious but I insisted something was wrong so to appease me……he sent me home with antivirals and steroids in case I was coming down with Bells Palsy.

The next morning after the ER visit….I woke up with a paralyzed face and in so much pain I was vomiting. I called my family dr and she got me in asap. She said I was on the right meds for Bells Palsy and sent me home with pain meds.

After a week, I wasn’t getting better and a dear sweet neighbor who worked for a neurosurgeon became concerned that I wasn’t getting better so she called my husband to discuss me seeing a neurologist. I owe her a lot for paying attention to how I was doing and insisting to my husband to get me further treatment. She helped us get an appointment with the top neurologist in the area and that dr knew right away that I have Ramsay Hunt Syndrome. He also said I was not responding to the antiviral I was given so started me on another which did work after two refills.

Dr. Hill said…girl….you got a long road ahead of you but we will fight this together. He said you have a bad case and it’s going to take lots of steroids and antivirals to get you  through. It’s now been 4months and there have been some ugly complications which have greatly altered my life and that of my family—and especially my gardening career. I am weak, slow thinking, and pain has persisted along with vertigo.

RHS attacks the nerve in your face that runs down past your ear…..across your cheek…and up around your eye. RHS attacked every bit of mine. Nerves only heal at 1 mm a day so think of this as at least 2 years but I know of others in their 11th year still with permanent damage.  I will be on steroids, neurontin, topamax, and xanax for at least 2 years. Because of the nerve death I have a secondary complication that is very serious called Giant Cell Arteritis–GAC. GAC is death of the arteries in the afflicted area of the dead nerves. GAC caused decreased blood flow to my right eye and reduced the vision by 75%. They don’t think I’ll get that back. GAC also affects blood flow to your arms and legs. It’s a nightmare and just plain insane but my strong faith helps me meet each new day with hope and to God be the Glory.

GAC and RHS make you so tired, make you depressed, make you fight for life every day. The meds make you a crazy person. I am puffed up from the steroids something awful to the tune of 30 extra pounds. For 4 months, I have sat on my sofa and slept or roamed the internet looking at gardens. Thinking of how one gardens when they are recuperating from something that robs your energy. Not gardening is out of the question.

I know plenty of people who would help me garden but that would take the pleasure out for me. Honestly….I don’t know anyone who gardens like me. I’ve been told I’m an artist in the garden and that pleases me to no end.

So…..here I am…in the midst of being very sick…sleeping upwards of 16 hours a day…and using precious hours to plan gardening. Would you expect any less of me? My husband just rolls his eyes.

I have scaled back. The GAC and RHS make my arms and legs feel like jello after about 30 minutes of work…so I will really have to plan this wisely–and rest on my swing for long periods surveying the work as it grows….inch by inch. I have started a to-do list for my husband which starts in January. I will have him put down manure and compost in the planting areas—and the vegetable garden. He can do one area per month and that won’t aggravate him to death. He hates a long to-do list.

I am planting more variety this year……instead of planting whole flats of flowers…I will do smaller areas with a variety of six packs===a perennial or two here and there. I will have a raised bed vegetable garden out back. My yard is sloped so I’ll do hay bail gardening and make a big square or several small squares with three hay bails in the back and one in the front….cause that will make it even across the top. It will be fenced in with a screen door. Probably will have a top on it too. Last year the squirrels stole my tomatoes and took one bite just to be mean.

So….how does one garden while so sick? Well….you just plan and do what you can–and what you can’t……you just let it go……..just let it go……

The photo above is from the front garden display at June DeLugas Interiors in Clemmons, NC. I had to give up her gardens this year and that broke my heart. She was my very best client and is one of my greatest friends. Made me very sad.

God, this is a cultivar
Sep 24 2012

Souls in heaven but what about the soil?

God, I know I’ll meet good souls in heaven but what about the soil? Let’s talk about this and what it means to me your faithful garden servant here on earth.

Did you know we talk about worm castings here on earth? One of the ugliest most unappreciated creatures on the planet and we go ape over its excretions. I bet that humors you to no end—–well maybe you are infinite— so it still keeps you knee slapping.

And we appreciate cultivars—- and that all knowledge comes from above–cause then we don’t have to use as many pesticides–they are strong–since they are super plants and all. But when we get to heaven–could you have waiting for us, all those species we killed off while in our care? We won’t need the cultivars then….but don’t take them away yet–we still need them.

God you promised me a mansion but there was no mention of good soil–just good souls. I won’t have to amend the soil will I? I’m pretty tired of amending my soul and this soil. Both are exhausting. I want heaven to have perfect soil and I want to plant up all sorts of combinations. I want there to be endless combinations. Can I bee ( meant to be play on words ) the head garden keeper? Has anyone ask you that? Adam was assigned but he flubbed it.

Do you like my garden blog God? If so….could you multiply my efforts and send so many people here to applaud my efforts. Just because you created me to post all these photos and talk about plants endlessly and it seems fitting they would want to see what you’ve done with my life?..ok? and I want a fiat…and an old old old truck.

God? are you there? I see you in my garden. I see you in every intricate detail of the plants. I see you in the order of life. I see you up close and personal…but do you see my blog? If you do….let me know that there is good soil in heaven.

I love you God.

yellow fiat bees jpeg
Sep 22 2012

I think a Fiat would make me feel better…so Fiat, make my day!

I think a Fiat would make me feel better… so Fiat, make my day! I’m going through a bit of a challenge right now and at the moment during my painful delirious moment all I can think about is owning a fiat decorated like the two above. You see, I’ve got Ramsay Hunt Syndrome which a lot of my readers don’t know and today the news got worse. Because of my weakened immune system, I’ve been diagnosed with Polymyalgia Rheumatica and I can barely type this. Next week I go for a biopsy of a nerve in my face. All of this in hopes that super steroids will ease the pain in my joints and stop the prognosis of going blind.

Oh, that sounds so horrible right? I got Ramsay Hunt Syndrome because the chicken pox virus hid in my face nerves and reared its ugly head about 6 weeks ago. An awful pain in the ear and then total paralysis on the right side of my face. Driving a Fiat 500 has the power to make that seem trivial. Today the paralysis is 80% improved but I still have post herpatic neuralgia which means the ear and jaw pain stuck around. The doctor said that only a Fiat 500 would make a difference.

Since all this pain was sticking around and my joints felt like they were on fire every time I moved—I went back to the neurologist–who asked me if I had a Fiat 500 yet. I said no–so he said–well let’s do more test and they came back that I have major body inflammation. I have twice the normal readings for that sort of thing. Super steroids and more pain killers were prescribed. The doctor is certain I have Polymyalgia Rheumatica. It will take me up to two years to recover all the while taking all those steroids. I need to do low intensity exercise which I assume to mean driving a Fiat 500 to the YMCA to go swimming and such easy stuff.

I am a hugely talented garden artist and have been turning down lots of jobs due to my illness. I do not want to quit designing and have kept two very important clients. If I can get to feeling better, I’ll rebuild my business but in a totally different way. I’m going to put in a killer kitchen garden in my backyard. Think garden design beyond your wildest imagination. It will have a screen door, ornamentals and edibles, places to sit, shed of my dreams, fence that will stop traffic with its beauty, and paths all over. I will give tours and have educational type things. Fiat….are you up for the challenge? Sponsor my dreams? Pretty please.

Now I can pretty much deal with all this pain and suffering. I can deal with the couple of years I’m going to need steroids and pain killers. I can deal with the fact that I won’t be gardening as much. But I can’t deal with the fact that I don’t own a Fiat 500.

If I owned a Fiat 500, it would encourage me to go to the YMCA and swim and workout enough so that when I do get stronger—I can garden again–and haul my flowers around in the coolest car on the planet.

And you Fiat? What say you?